Thursday, November 20, 2003

Kim Wilde

Cade and I went to the Here and Now concert (80's music heaven) on Monday.
The extremely climactic climax of the show was Kim Wilde's bit, where she totally Rocked Off! She is one woman who can sing quite capably about how you just keep her hanging on, while simultaneously looking good in a tight black cat-suit.
It was not without reason that Cade had to take a breather, sitting outside for a while to get a bit of fresh air after she finished. And my voice did seem a bit hoarse after the last chorus of Kids In America (she changed it to Kids In Australia, just for us - isn't she sweet!).
Now, with the wonders of the world wide web, Cade found her fansite, which has lovely little diary messages from dear Kim.
And it's very nice to see that it was as good for her as it was for us....
... and I've also included a message from Belinda Carlisle that is beautifully daggy.

"Without doubt it was THE gig of the tour as we rocked Sydney. Wow, if I never do another gig again... The best moment of the night came as 1927, Mondo Rock, Go West, Belinda and Paul came on stage at the end of Kids in America, and the crowd went OFF! As if that wasn't enough, word got back that 6 of the England team were coming backstage to say hi, and I turned into an overawed schoolgirl as one by one these impressive individuals raved about the show, and we took photos together! Beautiful!...
After show party plans extended well into dawn, and are best kept secret, except that I'm truly suprised we weren't thrown out of the hotel! Much laughter and celebration with all concerned, and a chance to thank both crew and artistes for a wonderful tour."

A message from Belinda Carlisle:
flight QF1 Sydney - Bangkok - London
"I'm pooped. I think we all are. And it's not because of the shows, I mean that may be part of the reason we are all shattered, but I think it has to do with the fun that we've all been having with each other before and after the shows.
This has been like one demented family on the road, and I don't think I've had this much fun in ages. I'm sorry it's over, although if it went on any longer, I may be endangering my health... All the fun, late nights, fine wine, and just plain silly behavior.
Anyways, we're all on our way home to reality, and sometimes to adjust to, after having the perfect holiday. this wasn't work this was a holiday, and I hope that I can experience this at least one more time... I'm going to miss everyone. Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!"

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Shakespeare's Pies

I feel the need to mention that I am very much in love with a certain pie available from Shakespeare's Pies.
The spinach, cheese and corn pie.. Mmmmmm.
So yummy.
I think the great taste may be due mostly to the pastry (yummo) and the overuse of cheese (double yummo).

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Cade - I think you have to write about having a doll named after you to get, and hold, people's attention.

Thursday, October 23, 2003


Best Of R.E.M.

Have just been looking at the track listings for the soon-to-be-released double cd version of the Best Of R.E.M 1988-2003.

The first cd is the 'greatest hits' one.
I'm so pleased they included Electrolite and The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite.
But they've gone and left out others like Shiny Happy People!
Not right.

The 2nd cd looks very interesting.
A couple of live and alternate versions of their songs, and then some songs from soundtracks (Batman and Robin; Coneheads; Until The End of the World; A Life Less Ordinary), that I don't have and mostly have never even heard of before!
R.E.M. are soundtrack regulars. In fact, I wish they could have had more of their soundtrack songs on the cd. I know they had songs for the Austin Powers 2 and Happiness films, and probably others.
I don't think it's right that so many of their songs are floating around out there like that.
I want them all!!

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Heaven's Gate

Heaven's Gate

The $1 weekly video is a fine thing.
I am currently putting myself through Heaven's Gate (the original, long long version). An infamous film that wrecked careers, wrecked a studio, and nobody saw. For years I've told myself I should see it. Now it's finally happening.
It reminds me of watching Matrix 2. Incredibly impressive in many ways, and horridly put together.
It had a huge budget, a pretentious director (Michael Cimino) and every shot of the film is beautiful. Amazing photography and sets and locations. Every shot looks delicious and expensive.
But it is sooooo long. Every scene is twice as long as you'd want it to be. And in most scenes very little, or nothing at all of any consequence to the plot happens. I have watched 1 and a half hours so far, and I am finding it difficult to remember one significant or memorable exchange of dialogue.
And even worse, there are scenes where you can't hear what the leads are saying! The director obviously wanted a realistic feel. So if the leads are talking near a busy road, you hear the background traffic rather than the lead voices. There are scenes that I have carefully replayed, but still can't make out what they're going on about! This is not a way to win over your audience Michael!
But I am determined to keep watching. The bad guys' plot is to kill 125 poor immigrant peasants, and so far they have a lot of catching up to do.

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Written On The Wind/Scarlet Empress/O Brother, Where Art Thou?/Queen Kelly

Have done some old movie-watching lately. Came across a few good ones.

Have to mention some of my favourite scenes.

Written on the Wind / Rock Hudson, Lauren Bacall / Douglas Sirk
Trashy, and strongly conservative 50's melodrama, with fab colour photography.
Trampy rich girl Dorothy Malone breaks her daddy's heart by picking up strange men at gas stations, then does a wild mambo in her room oblivious to her father having a heart-attack on the dramatically steep staircase outside her door.

The Scarlet Empress / Marlene Dietrich / Josef von Sternberg
1930's flick.
Marlene sleeps with half the men in Moscow, while still being a more virtuous character than most of the people in the film. There are parts of the film which are intended to show that the filmmakers in Hollywood weren't officially approving of this kind of floozy behaviour. But the story sends the opposite message. Marlene learns the games of Moscow better than anyone else. She gives up on love and uses sex for pleasure and power, finally being made queen in the triumphant finish.
Also like the rather rude scene where Marlene first turns up at the Imperial court and is checked by a doctor to make sure she is fit for marrying into royalty. So while Marlene is being interviewed by the queen, the doctor disappears up under her dress and rummages around. When he's done, he pops his head out and advises the queen that all is as it should be. The punchline comes when Marlene reaches up under her dress, ruffles around a bit, pulls out the doctor's wig and hands it back to him.

O Brother, Where Art Thou? / George Clooney / Joel Coen
Not an old movie, but a good one, and I had to mention that I love the musical Ku Klux Klan scene.

Queen Kelly / Gloria Swanson / Erich von Stroheim
Young orphan girl Gloria is walking along one day when her knickers fall down. Somehow she doesn't notice this happening. A nobleman riding past is amused by this. When Gloria works out what has happened, she decides that she doesn't appreciate being laughed at. To teach the fellow a lesson she throws her knickers in his face!
This film was never finished, due to Erich Von Stroheim going over-budget. So there are different versions. The film I saw had Gloria jumping to her death in a river. The grieving nobleman uses a sword to kill himself. But on, it says the american version has Gloria going off to Africa to work in a brothel!

Sunday, September 07, 2003

It's not working yet Matthew - I think you've just confused it - it's still coming up with discount encyclicals and the Vatican photo album.

Although now - I had another look before I published this post - it's coming up with Perfect Kauai honeymoon? and Honeymoon in Hawaii.

I can't wait for the stuff about hamsters with itchy scalps. "Does your rodent suffer dandruff?"

Friday, September 05, 2003

Creepy ad banners

Well Lynn, you've opened my eyes to something.
Today I looked at the banner ad on my blog and it has two ads, both for american resorts that cater for gay civil unions, weddings and honeymoons!
The website must have some program that reads what we write, looking for certain keywords, and then matches appropriate ads to go at the top of the page.
Kind of creepy.
In a few of our messages we've chatted about gay marriages, so the blog website presumes I might be interested in, and I quote: "Tropical Gay Honeymoon. Celebrate your civil union in style at Ft Lauderdale's true G/L B&B."
I wonder if this can be played with.
Like maybe I could pretend to talk about something, and see if some interesting banner ads turn up. Let's see, what are some keywords....
Chocolate, raising hamsters, virgin sacrifices, UFOs, Bridget Fonda, trampolines, health care, RateMyPoo (now there's a good website), needlepoint, bottoms, Tahiti getaway, I Want My MTV, pickles, dental floss, itchy scalp, lesbian, sex tips for nurses, worm farming.
I think that should do it.
In the next few days I'm going to have to keep an eye on the ad banners and see if I get any results.

hi Matthew, hi Cade, hi Brian !

I like the way blogger matches banner ads to the blog. For example, today when I look at MatthewSmith there's an ad for a Vatican Online Photo Book, paired with an ad for

Apart from the excitement of that I find it very exciting that Matthew has finally done his own blogging.

I'd like to add a little to the ongoing discussion about marriage to point out that there seems to be discrimination against heterosexual couples built into the UK immigration laws, in that a heterosexual couple MUST be married or intending to marry to immigrate to the UK, whereas, a homosexual couple MUST immigrate as "significant others" as it is illegal for same sex couples to be married in the UK.

Now that's interesting.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

Hello Matthew, et al.

Though the post about gay marriages is old, it seems in the spirit of these things--not that I've ever done this before--to pipe up.

As you can imagine, Canada's recent move toward gay marriages provoked something of a stir in the US, but only in the sense that it seems that the federal government--Republicans for sure, and Democrats because they tend to be weak--is doing what it can to quash legislation at the federal level that allows gay marriages. There's the move to define marriage as explicitly between a man and a woman, and that's it.

Though I am not gay--and indeed, am about to be married--this of course bothers me, mostly because one's sexual orientation seems far more complicated than just "I like girls" or "I like boys," and I wish that the law would reflect that. But of course it doesn't. Indeed, I can't think of a single thing Bush has done that does reflect reality, but then again, we're talking about a man who doesn't get out much.

Anyhoo, to some extent, though, I'm not sure it matters. Vermont, a state in the US, quietly allowed civil unions for non-heterosexual couples; I suspect that slowly other states will follow suit. They'll have to, as people move out of Vermont, settle down in other states, and expect that the legal rights they enjoyed there will translate over. Also because it's my opinion that as you move from national-level politics to local-level politics, government policies begin more and more to reflect the actual needs of the people. If that assumption is right, then civil unions, if not marriages, for gay couples are just around the corner in California and New York--which would be a big step toward other states falling it, albeit slowly.

But is it worth all the trouble? After all, domestic partnerships, which at least in New York same-sex couples are allowed to have, can fulfill many of the legal functions of a marriage certificate, in that they allow you to get on each others' health insurance plans, buy property together, etc.--not everywhere of course, but it can be done. How important is it that a full-fledged marriage be allowed?

This, of course, leads to what is to my mind the big question: what does marriage mean anyway? What does it mean if you're straight? What does it mean if you're gay?

Have at it.
Here are some interesting websites.

The Aussie Prime Minister's website.
There's a spot for you to click on so you can write to him (to tell him to piss off perhaps?).

The Media Watch website.
The 'Dog of the week' page often has some amusing little mistakes by the newspapers.

Alternative look at Australian politics

A list one fellow has made up of all the scurrilous gossip he can gather on Hollywood celebrities.

The BBC's Doctor Who homepage.

Vote on whether you thought a film was good or not, then see what everyone else thought. Prepare to be annoyed if they hated your favourite film.

Will have to think of some more later.

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

There's a lot of stuff going around at the moment about how the Vatican said some very harsh words about gay marriages.
The Vatican's opinion isn't surprising.
And I don't mind that much that some people think gay marriages are inappropriate.
But I am surprised (though I shouldn't be) at the total dumbness of what John Howard has said about it. I'm not surprised that he's opposed to gay marriages, just how he's chosen to justify his opposition.
What the hell is he talking about the survival of the species for? Should marriages between impotent people be nullified? Are couples who choose not to have children to be forcibly split up by the state? Does the PM know something about the imminent demise of the species that he hasn't told us? Does he consider 6 billion humans a dangerously low number? Does he not mind that he sounds like a complete idiot?

from today's PM program on the ABC:
Today in Darwin, Australia's Prime Minister was asked to state his position on gay marriage. This is what he said.

JOHN HOWARD: Well, this is not in any way an attack on gay people, quite the reverse, but it's just a strong statement in support of the central role of traditional marriage in our society.

Traditional marriage is one of the bedrock institutions of our society, and I don't want anything to occur that further weakens it. Marriage as we understand it in our society is about children, having children, raising them, providing for the survival of the species.

And I think if the same status is given in our society to gay unions as are given to traditional marriage we will weaken that bedrock institution. That's why I've expressed the views I have.

Friday, June 13, 2003

Lynn says: "I can't just vote on a picture of a guy sitting in a chair!"

Matthew says: "Oh yes you can!"

The Hot Or Not site is for people to vote on whether they think a bunch of
strangers are 'HOT' or 'NOT'. People put up their photos, and then later on
they go on and see what rating they got. So when you're voting it's a
challenge to A) be true to your opinions and vote appropriately, and B) not
be too harsh on the 'NOT' guys & gals. Nobody wants to find they get a 0.03
out of 10 rating.

So you look at the photo and choose what rating you are going them. Then
click on the number (1 to 10) at the top. The game will then show you what
the average vote for that person is so far, and will take you on to the next

It's kind of cheap and degrading. And amusing. And a little addictive.

So go back and have another go.
I dare you.

Sunday, June 08, 2003

Why do I like Sydney?

Sydney has Gowings.
The staff at Gowings know how to leave a window shopping man (and window shopping ladies) alone when required.

Brisbane does not have Gowings. This is a sad fact.
At times like today, when I decide to go have a look at some clothes and try things on, I find myself in change rooms with shop assistants outside demanding that I talk to them. Nasty young women and fancy boys.

Are you okay in there? (this question I don't mind. If I'd collapsed and
needed first aid it's nice to think that someone would check on my
well-being at some stage of the evening).
Is everything all right? (Yes)
Do you need anything in a different size? (No)
Do you want to come out and show us how it looks? (No)
Can you please let us in so we can ooh and aah about how wonderful you look
in our over-priced, ill-fitting and too-trendy clothing, leaving you both
uncomfortably flattered and too embarrassed to bring yourself to deflate our
happiness by not buying our clothes? (They don't always actually say this
out loud)

Clothing store assistants suck.

Just not in Gowings.
2003 - Brisbane
Am annoyed.
The Sydney Film Festival has just lost an appeal to show one of their films.
It's been banned.
A few decades ago the SFF (under David Stratton) made a fight to be able to
show what they wanted to show without the censors interferring. The film
festivals won special concessions, which is why nobody under 18 is allowed
to attend any of the film festival movies.
The people who go to the film festival are generally fairly mature people
with a serious interest in films, and I'm pretty pissed that some censor
reckons he can tell them what they can & can't show. It's only sex for
goodness sakes.
I should try to get not too upset, as it's probably a crap film (Romance was
crap, Lolita was good, Baise Moi was probably crap though I never saw it).
But when I get home to my computer in Sydney, I think I'll have to send off
a complaining email to the ratings board.
matthew - in brisbane

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

Okay, I have to have one final full-on spit about Matrix Reloaded. To get
it all out.

I am going to go a bit overboard with it, so I apologise once again if you
ain't interested in my rants. Just delete this if that's case.


*** Firstly, why I need to have this spit.
* Nobody I know of approves of Matrix 2.
* Despite the above fact, it has made $200US million at the american
box-office already! Garbage has won the box office battle, this time.
* This lousy film was expensive. They've spent over $300US million on
Matrix 2 and 3.
* The film critics were far too easy on this film. The trashy film critics
(with Hollywood stars in their eyes) said it'd be fantastic. The serious
film critics said "not as good as the first film/great special effects/the
fans will like it". But the fans DON'T like it. Serious film critics
should never be trusted when reviewing sci-fi/action films.
* I don't have the Wachowski brothers' email address, so I can't write to
them to give them scriptwriting tips, or to ask for my money back.

*** Secondly, my best guess as to why things went wrong.
The Matrix was a huge hit. A good action film with nifty gimmicks: cool &
stylish heroes; original special effects; effective action scenes; paranoid
futuristic plot (which was nicely timed for the end of the millenium).
Everyone told the Wachowski brothers that they were super imaginative guys
who could do anything. So they got bigger budgets and thought that if
people liked the gimmicks of Matrix 1, then they'd surely have even bigger
success multiplying those gimmicks by 3 for the next films. Bigger special
effects! Cooler heros! More techno-pyscho-babble dialogue!
But they failed to remember that the Matrix was basically a sci-fi/action
film with fancy trimmings, which needed a workable sci-fi/action film plot,
and appropriate sci-fi/action film dialogue.
They got their minds stuck on the trimmings.

*** Thirdly, my main gripes.
* The love affair!? Keanu & Carrie have three main scenes together.
1) Carrie and Keanu have sex - they're naked and he has a pained look on his
face, so I guess that's sex. But it doesn't show them being in love.
They're just two thin people who have slightly uncomfortable sex.
2) A strange & beautiful woman tells Keanu she'll give him some help (which
will enable him to save the human race) if he kisses her. Seems a pretty
good deal to me. But not to Carrie. She pulls a gun on the woman. This
gets a laugh from the audience, which would make the Wachowski's happy, but
it turns Carrie's character from a tough action heroine (in Matrix 1) into a
jealous psycho bitch. Not looking good.
3) At the end, Keanu has to chose between saving the world and saving
Carrie. He goes for Carrie. Why? I have no idea! If he saves Carrie,
then she'll die anyway when they all die. And she's such a cold & inhuman
piece of work, it's unbelievable that Keanu could actual be in LOVE with
her. Lust yes, love no.
Romances don't have to be very deep in sci-fi/action films, but there needs
to be at least a little spark there. Most effecient example I can think of:
The Empire Strikes Back. Han Solo is about to be frozen by baddies. Leia
says "I love you!". There's a pause. Han is about to get the freeze, and
may never breath again. Han looks at Leia as he gets the freeze and says "I
know". Cue dramatic & emotional musical climax!

* The action scenes.
How can such expensive action scenes be so BORING!?
1) The first scene has Keanu against 100 Hugo Weavings. Keanu is close to
invincible, since the normal laws of physics don't affect him. And Hugo's
character can replicate himself endlessly. The scene goes on forever.
Hugos are thrown everywhere. But nobody gets as much as a scratch. There
is no point to this fight! Nobody is going to get hurt. Since there is no
tension, the mind wanders, and you notice that some of the Hugos in the shot
you're watching are obviously unconvincing computer graphics, while in the
next scene they are extras wearing Hugo faces (or maybe their faces were
digitally altered - I guess the dvd will explain).
2) The second fight pits Keanu against a stranger. When the fight is over
the stranger turns out to be a friend. He explains why he fought Keanu.
Apparently 'You don't fully know someone until you fight them'.
So now there have been two fights and all they've done is show that there is
no point to these people fighing. None whatsoever! The audience is not
exactly going to be waiting breathlessly for the next exciting showdown!
3) Then Keanu fights off a number of people and yes he gets a scratch, to
show he's still human. However, one scratch does not lead to dramatic
4) It ends with the car chase, by which time I was craving for it to be over
fast, which it wasn't. There is lots of destruction, but none of it
thrilling. I read that the car chase scene cost $40US million. They had to
build the road it was shot on, which went for a mile & a half. The cheap
cheap Mad Max II was much more exciting.

And finally.
* Laurence Fishbourne was embarrassing. I so wanted his character to die a
tragic death, just so he'd shut up.
* The hippy humans living underground & dancing in a big cave were like from
some cheap 70's sci-fi flick (though I usually quite enjoy cheap 70's sci-fi
* Each time they used some of that fancy slow-motion, I sighed. I wanted
everything to go in fast motion instead. Anything to get through the film
more quickly! Please!
* Every shot looked so damn expensive. And when a film is this
dissappointing, it hurts.

The next time Hollywood has a spare $300 million, please please please can
they give it to me!!

The only possible bright spot: if Matrix 3 is very very very brilliant, it
might partly make up for this one. Maybe the studio should consider taking
it out of the Wachowski's hands before they make another shit-fest?

Am done now.

PS. If anyone knows the Wachowski's email address, please forward this on
to them. Thanks.
PPS. To make up for this shit film, I watched Thunderball on tv on the
weekend. So nice to see classy dialogue. You only have to wait 15 minutes
into the film before you get a busty blonde procliaming "Behave yourself, Mr
Bond!". Love it.

Eurovision 2003

I had a good old fun time with Eurovision this year.

I actually quite liked the song from Belguim. Was not very Eurovisionish.
Was hoping it'd get first. Was on the edge of my couch during the voting.
Was okay to settle for 2nd.

And Turkey's winning song was okay. Sounded like a Holly Valance song. Or
rather, there's a Holly Valance song that sounds just like Turkey's song.
And I always approve of good belly-dancing.

t.A.t.U.'s song was so shit. Each time they hit that high note (or high
notes, since they definitely weren't singing in tune) was painful.

I even enjoyed a couple of those cheesy pop tunes with those big voiced

Did not approve of the songs with silly titles, like "NaNaNa". And there
was that freaky happy song which I couldn't quite catch... were they singing
"Let's be happy and let's be friends" or was it "Let's be happy and le'ts be
gay" (as in 'happy' not 'homo', I think)? My 6 year old niece would
probably find it catchy.

Was funny seeing England get no votes.
I asked Tino if he watched it and he didn't even know it was on. So it
can't be too big of an event for Italy!
I think it is probably biggest in smaller countries (like little Latvia).
They can put in a crappy pop song and beat the rest of Europe. I'm sure it
makes them feel big and strong when they beat Germany and France and
England. There was probably lots of Latvian sex going on the night they won
in 2002. 9 months later - hundreds of Eurovision babies!
It appears to me, that the larger countries like England and Italy, well
they just can't be stuffed, and they're probably embarassed by the fuss the
little nations go to over it.

Well, that's my theory, and since there is nobody here at Global Gossip to
challenge me, I'm sticking to it.
2003 - Brisbane

Friday, May 02, 2003

Worst 100 Films

I just found something cool.
The bottom 100 movies on the IMB (Internet Movie Database) website.
These films got the lowest ratings from visitors on that site.
There's lots of Police Academy films. And some people pop up more than once:
Bo Derek, Ed Wood Jr, John Travolta, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Arnold
Schwarzenegger etc
I've been 'lucky' enough to see a dozen or so.
Some I've enjoyed, like Glen or Glenda, and Plan 9 From Outer Space.
Some have appalled me - I'm thinking of Problem Child 2.
And there's one that I thought didn't deserve to get on this list - the
Spice World movie, which was silly, but cute.
Then there's some that seem to be missing - where are Showgirls and

If you saw any of these films and liked them, I think you should fess up.
Anyone a fan of Porky's Revenge or Weekend At Bernie's II?


1 Manos, the Hands of Fate (1966) ***Have no idea what this is, but it must
be impressive.***
2 Backyard Dogs (2000)
3 Space Mutiny (1988)
4 Hobgoblins (1987)
5 Future War (1995)
6 Troll 2 (1990)
7 Santa with Muscles (1996)
8 Werewolf (1996)
9 Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994)
10 Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
11 Glitter (2001) ***Saw this recently. Definitely deserves it's place on
this list.***
12 Leonard Part 6 (1987)
13 Kazaam (1996)
14 Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000) ***Have a strange
desire to see this one.***
15 Hercules in New York (1970)
16 Baby Geniuses (1999)
17 Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996)
18 It's Pat (1994)
19 2001: A Space Travesty (2000)
20 Mitchell (1975)
21 Kangaroo Jack (2003) ***This made a little bit of money in the US, but
flopped in OZ. Got sh*t reviews.***
22 Bolero (1984)
23 Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
24 Smokey and the Bandit III (1983)
25 Cool as Ice (1991)
26 Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The (1994)
27 Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989)
28 Vercingétorix (2001)
29 Teen Wolf Too (1987)
30 Steel (1997)
31 Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988)
32 Captain America (1991)
33 Mannequin: On the Move (1991)
34 Tarzan, the Ape Man (1981) ***I think I once watched 15 minutes of this
Bo Derek flick.***
35 Ringmaster (1998)
36 Rollerball (2002)
37 Problem Child 2 (1991) ***I saw this horrible 'comedy' on a double bill.
I sat through it as I wanted to see the second film, but I should have gone
home. I will never forget the sight of Jack Warden's bottom in close-up.***
38 Master of Disguise, The (2002)
39 Cop & 1/2 (1993)
40 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995)
41 Mr. Nanny (1993)
42 Spice World (1997) ***I think this is a bit harsh. I've some sympathy for
the spice chicks and their amusingly silly movie.***
43 Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)
44 Street Fighter (1994) ***Didn't see this one: Jean-Claude Van Damme and
Kylie Minogue made this flick in QLD.***
45 Jaws 3-D (1983)
46 Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992)
47 Crossroads (2002) ***Silly Britney Spears road-trip flick. She takes
along one tiny suitcase, but changes clothes in every scene.***
48 Ticker (2001)
49 Barb Wire (1996) ***Cade says this is a classic bad-movie. Cindy Crawford
as action heroine.***
50 Bats (1999/I)
51 Iron Eagle II (1988)
52 Glen or Glenda (1953) ***My favourite movie on this list. Tracy, you
have to watch it with me sometime.***
53 Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn, An (1997)
54 Mr. Magoo (1997)
55 RoboCop 3 (1993)
56 Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987) ***Superman III was lame, but
this was lamer.***
57 FearDotCom (2002)
58 Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)
59 Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)
60 Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987)
61 Best Defense (1984)
62 Grease 2 (1982)
63 Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997)
64 Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)
65 Mr. Wrong (1996)
66 Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) ***This is pretty good. If this film only
got 66th worst movie it's doing better than usual.***
67 Jury Duty (1995)
68 Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)
69 Avengers, The (1998) ***Didn't think this was terrible, just not
particularly good.***
70 Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
71 Omega Code, The (1999)
72 Pokémon the First Movie: Mewtwo Strikes Back (1999)
73 Freddy Got Fingered (2001) ***Saw the promo for this in the cinemas - the
most unfunny ad for a comedy I can remember seeing.***
74 Weekend at Bernie's II (1993)
75 Caddyshack II (1988)
76 Super Mario Bros. (1993)
77 Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
78 Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold (1987)
79 Dudley Do-Right (1999)
80 Endless Love (1981) ***Good to see a movie on this list that had Tom
Cruise in it.***
81 Nothing But Trouble (1991)
82 McHale's Navy (1997)
83 Pet Sematary II (1992)
84 Stupids, The (1996)
85 Leprechaun (1993)
86 Gone Fishin' (1997)
87 Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988)
88 Soul Survivors (2001)
89 Batman & Robin (1997) ***I think this is a deserving place for this
90 Bio-Dome (1996)
91 Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978)
92 Poltergeist III (1988)
93 Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)
94 Suburban Commando (1991)
95 Porky's Revenge (1985)
96 On Deadly Ground (1994)
97 Child's Play 3 (1991)
98 Look Who's Talking Now (1993)
99 Species II (1998)
100 Clifford (1994)

Sunday, April 13, 2003

I've got shopper's remorse.

My work shoes got busted this week, so last night I had to buy more.

I was naughty.

The new shoes cost $200! I must have been freaking out or something.

They're Doc Martens, and they felt heaps better than anything else, and I'm
sure they'll last.

But $200!

Friday, April 11, 2003

It is good news from Baghdad. It seems to have all gone better than lots of people expected.
Saddam was a nasty piece of work.

On the minus side:

1) The americans invaded saying that Saddam was a military threat & was trying to put together weapons of mass destruction. But Saddam's army was capable of putting up surprisingly little defence against the americans (so why were they considered a current threat to the world?), and the american army has uncovered no major new evidence of Saddam having big deadly weapons.
2) The fact that this victory turned out to be easy for the americans worries me (very few americans dead, though thousands of Iraqis died). I can picture the next time this sort of situation crops up, the americans won't be afraid to use their military again. Vietnam will be forgotten. It'll be a case of, do what we say or we'll do to you what we did to Iraq. And things might not go so smoothly next time.
3) There are some very serious ramifications in other places. These events have upset people in volatile countries like Pakistan and Indonesia. A few days ago North Korea said that it was not going to go ahead with negotiations with the UN to reduce its arms. It is now MORE keen to go down the nuclear arms route. They've seen what America did to Iraq BEFORE Iraq got its hands on weapons of mass destruction. So North Korea is keen to get those weapons NOW before America decides to kill off their government. This is scary.

But for the time being, I guess we should just be happy with the good news.

Ding dong the witch is dead (or in hiding at least),
Which old witch?
The wicked witch!

Why is America so sure that Iraq has chemical weapons?

The US was the main arms supplier of iraq during the Iran/Iraq war and they kept detailed lists of everything that was bought and of everything that was used...and the surplus??

Italians are a rather suspicious people and a lot of these type of current affairs investigations are carried out repeatedly with a most suspicious eye.


Tuesday, April 08, 2003

I saw Madonna's American Life videoclip on tv tonight.

Anyone else watch it?

I felt a bit sad for her. She went and made this complex anti-war clip and then failed to get it released in time. Now that war's already happened, she can't show it in the USA, probably ever.

I thought it was brave of her to have tried to cram a complex message into 5 minutes of film.

If anyone else saw it, let me know what you thought.

Sydney 2003

Saturday, March 29, 2003

Everytime I see the Daily Telegraph front page headlines these days I get annoyed.

If the story is about the Americans, they use words like "Compassion" (on the story where they showed an american soldier giving water to a captured Iraqi soldier. I don't see that being especially compassionate. It would be rather extraordinary if the americans refused to give captured Iraqi soldiers water!).

If the story is about the Iraqis they use words like "Evil" (on today's story about the Iraqi army having protective clothing against chemical weapons - their army would be stupid not to have them as far as I can see).

The Daily Telegraph is an evil little thing.

Media coverage like this is probably part of the reason why opinion polls are showing a slight increase in the number of Australians who are ok with our army being over there.

Good Guys vs Bad Guys is the only story the Daily Telegraph seems to be capable of covering.


Thursday, March 27, 2003

The Hours

Who's seen The Hours?

I saw it last night, and have been thinking about it all day.
I think I was very impressed.

Was annoyed by the make-up on Nicole Kidman and Ed Harris (and his cliched role).
Also a bit annoyed by the Philip Glass music (every time it comes on the soundtrack you just know that some famous actress is about to start getting emotional again).

But I liked all the actors ('specially Julianne Moore - and the kid who plays her kid with the big sad eyes).
And I hadn't realised that it was all going to be so much about the characters being lesbians and what satisfaction they could get from their lives.
The writer obviously read Mrs Dalloway and saw it's central character (a woman with a perfectly nice life who feels that it could have been something more if she had not married her husband but gone along with another fella) as being Virginia Woolf's way of writing about herself - married to a man but wondering how much better it would have been to go with the woman she wanted instead.

I'm not sure if Viriginia would approve of herself being psycho-analysed in an american movie this way?

Sydney 2003

---Who's seen The Hours?

Not me. But I have read a good deal of Virginia Woolf, so I felt compelled to say something.

---The writer obviously read Mrs Dalloway and saw its central character (a woman with a perfectly nice life who feels that it could have been something more if she had not married her husband but gone along with another fella) as being Virginia Woolf's way of writing about herself... I'm not sure if Viriginia would approve of herself being psycho-analysed in an american movie this way?

As I've said, I've neither read nor seen The Hours so I don't know what I'm talking about. It's cool, though, how different my impression of reading Virginia Woolf's stuff was. I always had it not that the characters would rather be with someone else, but that they would rather be ultimately with nobody at all. I don't mean that they all wanted to become hermits, but all of her characters--to me, anyway--really prized their internal lives, and saw some of the relationships they had as hampering their ability to grow personally. Now I'm making Virginia Woolf sound like a self-help book, which makes me ill, but I do think that her characters treasured their isolation somewhat. Woolf's nonfiction, I think, makes the point even more clearly: the title isn't "A Room of Her Own," it's "A Room of One's Own." The singularity--and the androgyny--in the pronoun is totally intentional.

But given how much she seemed to treasure her privacy, I think Woolf would be insulted at anyone insinuating anything about her, whether they were Americans or not. And I agree with her: I'm a member of that old-fashioned camp who thinks that fiction is fiction, and it's unfair to assume anything about the author by what they write. I also understand, though, that that's not how lots of folks seem to read fiction anymore. Jesus, I sound like an old man.


Monday, March 24, 2003

good plan

Tonight is oscar night.
My tv night of the year.

But this year we're meant to boycott it, to show that we think it's rude of George B to go blowing up people just to show how big his guns are.

I'm weak. I can't bring myself to miss out on it.

So I've decided on a compromise.

I'll watch it (all snug on my couch, with some chips and fizzy drinks handy). But every time an american wins a prize, I'll stand up and shout at the tv "you filthy american capitalist pig-dog b*stard!".
That way I'll be able to show my disapproval of the USA's war-mongering ways, while at the same time releasing my frustration if Renee Zellweger steals the oscar from dear Nicole.

I think my plan is a good one.

If Renee wins it I think Nicole should do what Sophie Lee did to Toni Collette in Muriel's Wedding and storm over and throw a cocktail in her face. I'd pay good money to see that!
It's time the Aussie's put some spark into those dull butt-kissing awards shows! At least Russ had a go and decided to spice it up by
assaulting that guy who wouldn't let him read his little poem.
I do wonder what the poem was like:
"Roses are red/violets are blue/start the music during my speech/and
I'll kick the crap out of you" ???


Friday, March 21, 2003

Thursday night shopping

Must tell you of my lovely string of events earlier this evening.
A string of stories to bring a smile to my face.

Had to go shopping after work, to buy birthday presents for Eliza (4) and Jack (5).
Note: Eliza is getting a feather boa & some rose-coloured sunglasses. Jack is getting Han Solo and some bubbles that you blow that don't pop.

At Grace Bros the lady was giving me back too much change. At first I thought 'excellent! I love tips!". But then I saw she was giving me $30 too much! This was too much for my conscience, so I said something along the lines of 'are you sure this is right?'. She said 'you gave me this much, and they cost that much, and so I have to give you this much'. I told my conscience to not think of minor matters and instead think about the war in Iraq or something serious like that. I didn't fight it and took the money (am I bad? don't answer). Afterwards, I also talked myself into justifying my actions by thinking that maybe she just liked my legs.

With an extra bounce in my step I marched over to David Jones.
I bought 3 toys to the toy section cashier. She started to charge them up and picked up a fourth toy that was lying on the table. I told her it wasn't mine. So she correctly charged me for the three toys, and as I was getting my money out, she put all four toys in the bag!
What is happening with these people, I thought to myself! Is it Thursday Night Apathy (known within medical circles as TNA)? Do they have the flu? Are they simply depressed about the state of the world? Could it be all three?
I really felt no need for more generosity from these stores, so I pointed out to her that she had given me more than I'd paid for. Unlike the Grace Bros lady, she didn't dispute it and took the toy out. Three toys were quite enough. (The toys I bought were nicer anyway).

3rd (and best of all)
Walking home I went through Hyde Park.
I stopped at one point as I was using my mobile to listen to messages on my home answering machine.
Nearby there was a wonderfully cute brush-tailed possum running around. It ran hither and thither. I stood still. To my wonderment it then ran straight towards me. I was waiting for it to dart around me or something, but instead it came right up and sniffed the tip of the umbrella I was holding (long black umbrella recently purchased from Gowings - you can't buy better). Such a brave little tike! A man came down the path and the critter moved away. It then ran up to me again, only to be scared off by a second man walking past. I then looked around and saw nobody else was coming past. Possum looked like he was about to start up a tree, so I crouched down, held out my hand, and went 'tch, tch' - like you would talk to Skippy, I guess. Felt very sorry I had no food with me.
Anyway, the darn cutie went for it. Ran straight towards me. Have never seen such a friendly soul. Such big beautiful eyes too. S/he sniffed my finger. Once. Twice. Then bit me! Totally clamped that little jaw on my index finger! You wouldn't think someone could be so happy getting bitten, but that's how it was. It was just one bite, followed by a light tug (I presume to see if my finger would fall off & he could take it back up the tree for dinner). Disappointed, he turned his back on me and went back up his tree.
He probably saw the whole experience as an annoying waste of his precious time, but oh was I happy.
Lesson: Always take bread or fruit with you when walking through Hyde Park at night. Having these provisions will also be useful if you happen to fall down a well.

After that highlight I was filled with joy.
Had to do something for the world in return.
Crossing at the zebra crossing outside my house, a car with a very nice driver very politely pulled up to let me past. All very nice. But then right behind it was a zippy black sports car, with a middle aged man driving it. He put his foot to the peddle to go around the other car. How rude! Taking advantage of the first car's politeness! Just not on, I say! But I got him. I timed it perfectly to get there just fast enough so that he would have to stop for me. And I slowed down just enough (almost imperceptibly) so that he would have to wait for long enough for the other car to get away first. Poor mister mid-life crisis in his black sports car had to eat humble pie and continue on back behind the other cars. Hooray for justice!

That's my story.

Must remember to go Thursday night shopping again next week. You'd be a fool to miss it, really.
Sydney 2003
The Philadelphia Story

Just had to let you know about my latest DVD purchase.

The Philadelphia Story!

They finally released it on dvd, and I seem to remember you mentioning you liked it.

Cary Grant, Katharine Hepburn, James Stewart!

In the running for best cast ever.

When I got it home I had to play that scene where the reporters first turn up, and Katharine and her little sister amuse themselves by putting on an act of being rich idiots, just to poke fun at the attitudes they think the reporters will have about wealthy people. I love the way the girl speaks french and sings Lydia The Tattooed Lady on the piano and walks around on her toes. And Katharine's toffy-nosed voice. Very funny, especially since Katharine always did have a bit of an aristocratic air about her.
Great stuff.

What's your favourite bit?

Cary's dimple?

I don't know how Cary kept his career going. If I was that charming I'd never leave my mirror.

Hey, you should put this on that website. Not because I've said anything brilliant, but because there can never be too much about The Philadelphia Story on the web. Every Philadelphia Story piece can make up for one neo-nazi website I reckon.

Sydney 2003

Tuesday, March 18, 2003

sweet skink

I had an amusing little incident this morning.

We've talked a bit lately about little creatures in my apartment.

This morning I'm sitting on the toilet when I find a skink in the sink! He was peering over the edge, looking at me.
Skinks are so sweet.
He was obviously trying to figure out if he should run for it, or if he should sit still and try to pretend to be a inanimate object (that just happens to look like a skink).
I couldn't decide whether it was best to leave him, or to try to get him outside.
A few minutes later he was running around the apartment.
I didn't want to accidentally tread on him at some stage, so I got him and escorted him downstairs to the garden.
I hope he finds happiness there.


Thursday, February 27, 2003

books about film

Yes, that was interesting.
Found I'd read 5 of them....

The Parade's Gone By, by Kevin Brownlow
Kevin is great at writing about old movies. This book helped me appreciate silent pictures. Apart from a very small group of famous classics, the silents are now forgotten. This book made it seem a great pity.

Me, by Katherine Hepburn
I always get a kick out of reading Katherine.

Easy Riders Raging Bulls, by Peter Biskind
Sociology taken to 70's Hollywood.

The Kid Stays In The Picture, by Robert Evans
Robert Evans loves himself all over. Good book though. Lots of famous names in it, which is as it should be for a producer's book.

Adventures in the Screen Trade, by William Goldman
Don't know if I really dig William. He's meant to be a great great screenwriter, but his films are definitely not on my list of faves. His books are very readable though, and do make a bit of sense. I just wouldn't follow any of his rules if I was writing a movie.

Sydney 2003
Italy has probably the highest concentration of
hirsute people in the world (men and women). And one
sees no chest hair on any advertisment, not unusual
you say??!! Women here have come to detest male hair
of any type and hence, here, many a young man
regularly waxes/shaves etc....but the majority of
women refuse to shave their armpits on the grounds
that regrowth is uncomfortable!?


Wednesday, February 26, 2003

I notice some advertisements around town are jumping in for mardi gras time.

One for Nokia:
"A mobile that sends video messages - How Queer!"
With a picture of a phone with a shot of a drag queen on the screen.

And for Yves St Laurent - a barechested man, with chest hair!
Hooray for fur!


The Underpants will soon be opening in Sydney.

It's a new play by Steve Martin.
Really enjoyed his Picasso at the Lapin Agile that was here a few years ago.

If anyone feels like seeing The Underpants when it's on, let me know.
I wanna go.

matthew (in underpants)

Monday, February 24, 2003

... shooting a short film!

Oh, I forgot to mention something about Cade,
He's currently shooting a short film!
Some uni students are making it & they needed a girl and a boy and one of them suggested Cade.
He's done one day of it already and has some more to do over the next few weekends.

Sydney 2003

We call the 'thing' Bambi.

Well, I caved in. Cade's charms outweighed my fear.
We call the 'thing' Bambi. That is a nice non-threatening name. When something is called Bambi, you imagine it having a nice reasonable number of legs, say four or so. And not having fangs.
Cade has shown me the fellow's room. As soon as my eyes edged towards 'the box' I said I'd seen enough. The door is now to remain closed.

The new cat is cool. A very friendly feline. The dogs are funny. There was some kerfuffle the first few days, but they are now all okay with each other. I don't like to say this in front of Cade, but dogs aren't always that smart, don't you think? The cat mainly sits around. Occasionally walks hither and thither. But mainly sits. Then the dogs have to keep going up to it and sniffing it's butt or checking out it's tail. Every so often it gets pissed off and hisses and takes a swipe at their noses. One day a swipe may actually connect (and then there'll be trouble!). Each time this happens Cade gets offended. Naturally he doesn't like to see his dogs get swiped at. But how long does it take for these animals to realise that some butts should be left unsniffed!?

I've heard that bored 50's housewives used to use the vibrations of household washing machines to stimulate themselves when hubby was being neglectful.
Just another reason for us to be grateful for washing machines.
Sydney 2003

----- Original Message -----

Sent: Saturday, February 22, 2003 9:25 AM
Subject: the impossibility of ever coming to Newtown again ...

hey Matthew,

how's it going?
did you manage to get to Cade's place on Wednesday night? or, have you decided that there is no way you are ever coming to Newtown again?

I understand your qualms completely.

we've got a new washing machine - I'm very excited - so I'm washing everything despite it being a rainy day.

bye for now,

Friday, February 21, 2003

"Just because he's a faggot doesn't mean he's an asshole."

Just had to share that quote from Welcome To The Dollhouse with you.

Sydney 2003

Wednesday, February 19, 2003

The Birds

Watched more of the juicy extras on The Birds DVD.

I knew I recognised the young girl from the film.
She's Veronica Cartwright, and she's grown up to appear in heaps of things - Alien, Invasion Of The Body Snatchers, The Witches Of Eastwick, even Scary Movie 2 just recently.
Obviously having birdseed put in her hair so that birds would peck at her didn't turn her off acting.

There was a 5 minute ad for the film that Alfred Hitchcock made.
It has all cheerful music and he says how he wants to talk about the age old relationship between man and birds.
He talks as if it's a happy, cheerful thing.
He mentions our close relationship to the Dodo and Carrier Pigeon (made extinct by man), and how we give chickens such nice little battery cages to lay their eggs in, and how feathers can be used in fancy hats, and roast chicken is nice to eat.
He then shows a lovely little canary in a gilded cage. He talks of how happy it must be to live in something so pretty, kept away from the nasty glare of the sun etc. He gives it a little wag of his finger and the bird proceeds to give him a nasty little nip.
He looks very surprised at it's ingratitude.
It then cuts to a clip from the movie of Tippi Hedren running in the door yelling "THEY'RE COMING! THEY'RE COMING!".
About time too, I say!

Sydney 2003
I spent the weekend at Cade's.

He was getting rid of his rather troublesome old flatmate, finally.

All good.

Today his new flatmate turned up.
Cade says he seems to be a perfectly nice fellow who he shouldn't have any troubles with.
And the guy's cat (name: Kit) is a friendly one.

All good.

Then Cade tells me about how the fellow forgot to mention before he moved in that he has a tarantula.


I force myself to keep calm and confirm that yes it's a real tarantula. I am not mishearing what Cade is telling me. The guy feeds dead mice to the thing and keeps it in a glass box.
This thing is going to be in the room next to Cade's.

I am not going to be able to go in that room.

And without going into that room I will not be able to confirm that it is safely in that box and not hunting mice under the chair I may be sitting on, or under the bed I may be sleeping in.

I tell Cade I am going to try and be sensible, and I am sure it is all perfectly safe, and I will try and be grown up about it.


Cade asked me to go stay over on Wednesday.

I've told him I've suddenly come down with a broken leg.

And anyway, I was going to see a movie that night.

Or something.

Sydney 2003

Friday, February 14, 2003

Well, I enjoyed lots of Mulholland Drive. But I'm so glad you warned me about the last third.
The plot of the first two thirds was quite intriguing, and it would have made a hell of a good movie if it had've continued with it and had a decent ending.
Is a pity it didn't get made into a tv series like it was intended.

What I liked -

* The stylish photography.

* The scene where the Roy Orbison song is sung in Spanish.

* Naomi Watts scenes where she practices her acting role at home with her girlfriend, and then does a totally different interpretation when she does the test with the sleazy over-suntanned old actor.

* Seeing Ann Miller have a decent role.

* Where the hit man kills the guy in the office, then accidentally shoots the woman next door in the butt, then has to kill her, then gets seen by the vacuum guy and has to kill him, then has to shut up the vacuum & a fire starts & the alarm goes off. Funny.

* The breasts on the other actress. Not Naomi Watts. The other one. The second nudie scene she's lying on her back and her rather fulsome breasts are totally upright and perky. Is it possible for real breasts to be like that? I presume they were implant enhanced? Or maybe it was all done with trick wires?

* The screen tests where the girls sing old 50's songs.

I think I understand the ending. The dead girl was actually the amnesiac girl's previous girffriend, who got upset when the other girl dumped her for the director, so she hired someone to kill her and then went crazy and imagined an old couple were coming to attack her so she shot herself in the head.
But then again maybe not.
That makes the most sense to me, but still leaves other parts of the plot totally unexplained.

David should be told to go back and do the ending properly.

But otherwise, strangely, I think I actually liked it.
Sydney 2003
I've done it.
I've joined.

I managed to find one thing up there.
Can you add the stuff I wrote about Mulholland Drive?

I will try and learn how to add things myself sometime soon.

It looks kind of groovy.

If I can get into it I'll have to get Tino in on it.
And after him maybe some others (Cade & Stephen may be interested perhaps).
Sydney 2003

Thursday, February 13, 2003

Sounds like a choice idea.
Please go ahead. Very nice of you to volunteer your time to save my best opinions (and we all know there are oh so many of them) for posterity.
I will have to keep control of the copyright of course.
When I finally pull my finger out and make my own website I'll probably steal some of my thoughts back.
You know how I am.