Sunday, May 15, 2005

Please come play for me.

After my last list, which was quite negative, I'd like to ask the following artists to come to Sydney for reasonably-priced concerts, in small theatres so I don't have to squint to see you, so I can see you before I die (which hopefully won't be anytime soon, so you've got a bit of time - just don't take too long). Some of you have already been here, but I didn't get to see you, which, I know, is my fault, not yours, but still it'd be nice if you did me a favour and came back again.
Pretty please.

Cake, Erykah Badu, Joss Stone, David Bowie, Jewel, Angie Stone, Macy Gray, Harry Connick Jr, Chris Isaak (you always come to Sydney but your concerts sell out too quickly - please, more concerts!), Aimee Mann, Bjork, and Yo La Tengo.

Sydney's really nice, you'll like it.
I can buy you lunch.

People who bug me and should go away.

Time for a list.

Of people I'll never meet in person but who still manage to piss me off.

Of course, we can start with Mr Howard and Mr Bush Jr. Who are turkeys.
And Tony Abbott. And Alan Jones and John Laws. And Kerry Packer and Rupert Murdoch (big raspberries to you!).
I would mention Fred Nile, but he seems to be a bit quiet these days.
Stinky Jennifer Lopez and Lisa Ho (for putting furs into their fashion parades).

So how about the so-called 'entertainment' industry?
Ooo yes, there's lots of annoying people there.
And not just my old enemy Richard Wilkins!
There's also Hilary Duff and Eddie Mcguire. Val Kilmer and Fiona Robson. Britney Spears (especially when she stuffs up covers of other people's songs). The guy who hosts Video Hits on weekend mornings (he should be stopped from trying to sing jazz ever again). People in Hollywood who trash world history with astoundingly stupid movies like Alexander and The Last Samurai. Fox tv for releasing the first 4 series of Futurama on dvd but not the final 5th series - they should pull their finger out! Leyton Hewitt and Bec Cartwright, who can't seem to keep their unremarkable love life out of our collective faces. And finally, the managers at Broadway Shopping Centre for allowing in all of those annoying people who walk up to you wanting to get you to sign up for stuff when all you want to do is go to the movies.
Oh yes, and Oprah Winfrey, whose fawning interviews with other celebrities are total puke.

In order to not be completely negative, Cate Blanchett is a god.