Tonight is oscar night.
My tv night of the year.
But this year we're meant to boycott it, to show that we think it's rude of George B to go blowing up people just to show how big his guns are.
I'm weak. I can't bring myself to miss out on it.
So I've decided on a compromise.
I'll watch it (all snug on my couch, with some chips and fizzy drinks handy). But every time an american wins a prize, I'll stand up and shout at the tv "you filthy american capitalist pig-dog b*stard!".
That way I'll be able to show my disapproval of the USA's war-mongering ways, while at the same time releasing my frustration if Renee Zellweger steals the oscar from dear Nicole.
I think my plan is a good one.
If Renee wins it I think Nicole should do what Sophie Lee did to Toni Collette in Muriel's Wedding and storm over and throw a cocktail in her face. I'd pay good money to see that!
It's time the Aussie's put some spark into those dull butt-kissing awards shows! At least Russ had a go and decided to spice it up by
assaulting that guy who wouldn't let him read his little poem.
I do wonder what the poem was like:
"Roses are red/violets are blue/start the music during my speech/and
I'll kick the crap out of you" ???