Monday, March 24, 2003

good plan

Tonight is oscar night.
My tv night of the year.

But this year we're meant to boycott it, to show that we think it's rude of George B to go blowing up people just to show how big his guns are.

I'm weak. I can't bring myself to miss out on it.

So I've decided on a compromise.

I'll watch it (all snug on my couch, with some chips and fizzy drinks handy). But every time an american wins a prize, I'll stand up and shout at the tv "you filthy american capitalist pig-dog b*stard!".
That way I'll be able to show my disapproval of the USA's war-mongering ways, while at the same time releasing my frustration if Renee Zellweger steals the oscar from dear Nicole.

I think my plan is a good one.

If Renee wins it I think Nicole should do what Sophie Lee did to Toni Collette in Muriel's Wedding and storm over and throw a cocktail in her face. I'd pay good money to see that!
It's time the Aussie's put some spark into those dull butt-kissing awards shows! At least Russ had a go and decided to spice it up by
assaulting that guy who wouldn't let him read his little poem.
I do wonder what the poem was like:
"Roses are red/violets are blue/start the music during my speech/and
I'll kick the crap out of you" ???


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