For the first time in my life I went to a Sydney Writer's Festival event, just over a week ago. Cade and Lynn came along, and we heard David Sedaris read 3 of his short stories. 2 new ones, and 1 oldie. I was very happy for him that he had a full house. I certainly hadn't expected so many people to turn up. And I was proud of little David. He was very funny and kept everyone laughing for 90 minutes. Good work. His stories were the kind where some people would laugh out loud, while others would giggle a little while frowning and muttering to themselves 'oh dear, the poor little mouse' (I should explain that they weren't likening David to a little mouse, but instead referring to a mouse in the story). Yes, poor mouse.
Twice in the same night women stepped into my conversation. It seemed strange for it to happen twice is such quick succession.
The first time was at the theatre. For some reason I felt the need to complain (not for the first time) about a particular french actress who too often starred in ponderous films where the directors took too many shots of her looking off dramatically into the distance, leading to total viewer boredom. A woman in the row before us turned around to tell me I was talking about Juliette Binoche, and indeed I was.
The second time was on the bus home. Gloria Jean has been kind enough to open a store on King St. I like her coffee, but King St is NOT for chain stores. No way buddy. During this discussion, another woman in a seat in front of us turned around to remind us that McDonald's got shoved out of King St, so the same thing may happen with Gloria.
It was amusing for both events to happen so close to each other.
As long as I don't take it that my conversation is so poor that strangers are feeling sorry for me and stepping in. Will people in the street soon be offering to help me cross the road? Or letting me have their seat at the front of the bus? Could be good!
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I just read the funniest story in the Daily Telegraph, I think it was supposed to make you get angry or something so maybe I'm a bit twisted!
Some school bus driver had a melt down yesterday and threw a whole bus load of 40 kids off his bus part way through his route and drove off and left them!
Apparently he had to stop because one kid had thrown another kid's wallet out the window, and then a bit later he was asked to stop again because some other kid had thrown something of someone else's out the window.
Apparently the driver then became hysterical and shouted "I can't do this anymore!!!" and stormed off the bus and started chain smoking.
When a kid asked him how they were going to get home he yelled "I don't give a crap!!!!" and made them all get off the bus, then drove off and left them there!
The Daily Telegraph of course quoted 'outraged' parents screaming for action to be taken against the bus driver and it was reported that: "Several children began to weep as they huddled together beside the road,". (Oh the drama!!!)
Quite frankly I'm surprised the Telegraph didn't go on to then say that after the children were 'stranded', it began to snow and all the children had to trudge 30 miles through the snow to the next bus stop.
I feel sorry for the poor bus driver!
So the kids had to get off the bus and wait for another, there were about 40 of them apparently, it's not like someone was going to kidnap a throng of kids that large!
And anyways, are kids who pretty much drive a bus driver to the brink of a nervous breakdown really in much danger of being kidnapped, mugged or molested? What fool would ever try with a throng of 40 rambunctious school children???
I just have the funniest mental picture of little Timmy tugging on the chain smoking bus driver's sleeve innocently asking "But Mr Bus Driver, how will all us widdle kids get home?"
Bus Driver: I DON'T GIVE A CRAP!!! NOW GET OFF MY GOD DAMNED BUS YOU DIRTY SMELLY HORRIBLE DISGUSTING AWFUL LITTLE DEVIL CHILDREN!!!"
I used to ride the school bus. And having experienced it first hand I think rather than action being taken against the bus driver I think the poor guy is more deserving of a holiday and a big fat raise!!
You can listen to David Sedaris read his stories on http://www.thisamericanlife.org/ I have heard many.
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